So things have
not been right between you and your spouse for a hot minute. You’ve
tried to correct everything you thought might be the problem. You have
started dressing up more; you have started being more romantic by buying
flowers, jewellery. Some of you have even gone for those sex workshops
to spice things up in the home. No change, no result. There’s just that
nagging feeling that something is terribly wrong.
Then
you start thinking about Carol who divorced her husband because of a
funny business with the maid. Or Peter who’s wife cleaned out the house
(down to the curtains!) and moved in with a younger man. But it can’t
happen to you… Or can it?
Here are a few signs to look out for:
- Please pay attention to your intuition! If you think your partner is cheating, they probably are…
- At the start
of an affair, the cheater will experience feelings of guilt because,
despite what you might think, he/she knows it’s wrong and doesn’t want
to hurt you. They will therefore be more attentive and even more
romantic. You know your partner best. So if this increased attention is
completely out of character, be very afraid.
- Once the
affair has been on for a while and your partner’s guilt has lessened,
they will start to find fault with little things you do. Your chicken
might be undercooked. Never mind that he loved it the first day you
cooked it for him and the recipe hasn’t changed. Or, you’re not very
motivated and bordering on lazy…I mean, Kamau has already moved his
family to Runda. Never mind that you wake up at 5am to go to work every
morning and return at 7pm.
- Change in
your sex life. This is a little tricky because it could go either way.
They may not want any sex at all. Or, they may start making weird
demands in the bedroom. If he wants you swinging from the chandelier all
of a sudden, he has a teacher somewhere and that teacher is definitely
not you.
- All of a
sudden, he has a work schedule heavier than Obama’s. Weekend trips and
long hours keeping him out of the house till late… But when you really
think about it, there’s no promotion and his salary is still as stagnant
as ever, no bonuses included.
- Also, look
out for a change in spending habits. If your partner has no money for
that bottle of wine he always used to bring you, or there’s no money for
flowers but he has to have his cologne, you need to take a look at the
financial statements and find out where the money is. Show Me The
Money!!!
- A cheating
spouse will lose all interest in what goes on around the house… So the
kids need to be dropped off, why don’t you take them? The lawn needs to
be mowed, ask the watchman. Your family wants to come over for lunch,
she’s too busy to cook. You need new boxers, stop by Manhattan and get
them yourself…I think you get the general idea.
- Your partner
may develop a sudden, inexplicable need for privacy. They may start
locking their computer or cell phone. Credit card bills and bank
statements will be hidden.And any attempt to ask why will lead to defensive answers or outbursts.
These are just a
few signs and may not necessarily mean your partner is cheating. But if
something really is bothering you about your relationship, then the
probability of the milk not being clean is very high.
Before you
decide to cheat, please think of what your actions will do to the person
who loves you and weigh if it’s really worth destroying their life, and
maybe yours too…
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